do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Are we still banned from the library?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
