...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
