I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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