I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
