haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
