have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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