Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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