the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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