Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
