did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
