she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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