I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
