So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
