Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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