I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
