i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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