Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
