Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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