dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
