so that wasnt chicken after all
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize