I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
