Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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