is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
this hospital has no fireball
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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