I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
