And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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