And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize