Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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