My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
