He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
