And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
