And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
