Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My bed smells like the plague
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
