When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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