he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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