I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
