Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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