I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
ttyl tear gas
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize