Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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