did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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