my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
