i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
