SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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