i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need to align my fucking chakras
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
