I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
