i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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