Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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