dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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