return my video game
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
