id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
