It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
