ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
