i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
