Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
