He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish I only lived at night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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