We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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