And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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