Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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