I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
