Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm at about main and main street
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
