the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize