I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
