Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
