she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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