24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
