glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
