You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
